Ladies Of The Road
by The Pragmatic Pragmatist Man
Summary: My 1st novel! Sonic is dropped in a foreign land with no memory. He must embark on a road... a long road. He meets the... "Ladies Of The Road". Will they help him?
1. The Beginning Or A Tight Scrummy

**Well. This is my 1st novel. ... What else to say... oh yes. Read my other 4 stories. ****PLEASE**** review. I don't read minds. (Thank God. I don't to know what's in your Lemon-reading minds.) Anyway, have a good day. Or night. One more thing. I'm on Pandora. Same name but no "Man" at the end. Now Adios Amigas/Amigos!**

**Step 1.**

**Look up Formentera lady by King Crimson by firebola on YouTube.**

**Now get ready..**

"...it happen so fast, officer."

"You just crashed into the fastest thing alive. The Blue Bomber is lucky to be alive. Concussion and maybe a few stitches. But now with you. What was the big rush? You were driving a 16-wheeler. Trying to race the guy?"

"It was his fault, officer. I was a stop sign, looking both ways. As I turned left, BOOM! Smack-dab into Sonic's face. Or body. He wasn't looking."

"Ok. When Big Blue wakes up, let's see if he presses charges against you. But as of right now, you're good. We call you if anything comes up, Mr..."

"Gentleman."

"That's a odd name."

"This is a odd story."

"What?"

"Never mind."

**Meanwhile**

"...Ok. Eyes dilate fine. Mr. Sonic, can you wiggle your fingers? ... right hand good. Left hand good. Mr. Sonic, you are a fine specimen. With your present state of physical health, you should recover within 2 weeks. Amazing. Sonic... Sonic? Get me the pads. Patient has no heartbeat. Backup needed. THIS IS CODE RED!"

**In the mind of Sonic**

_Ground Control to Major Tom._

_This is Major Tom to Ground Control._

_My circuits dead, there's something wrong._

_Can you tell my wife I love her very much?_

_She knows!_

_Ground Control to Major Tom._

_Your circuits dead, is there something wrong?_

_Can you hear us, Major Tom?_

_Can you hear us, Major Tom?_

_Can you hear us, Major Tom?_

_Can you hear us, Major Tom?_

_Can you hear us, Major Tom?_

**(Start song.)**

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"Where am I?"_

Sonic groggily thinks. He remembers...nothing.

_"Ok... my name is Sonic. I run fast. Speed of Light. Why? What is this place? When did I get here? I don't know anything else about myself. I must find out."_

As our young hero wakes up, he again tries to remember why, when, and again where he is.

_"I don't have any memories...am I in Heaven?"_

He surveyed the land before him. He stood on a hill, a green one, overlooking a coastal town. The town consisted of white houses. Giant Pines and cactus fill the few spaces left from the mighty sweeping hand of civilization. The town seemed empty but there sound emitting 5 miles north of the town.

_"5 miles? That's nothing for me."_

As he sped along the hillside, he thought more about this current situation.

_"Since there is no angels singing or a God welcoming me to his celestial palace I take this isn't Heaven. But not Hell either. Alternative universe? I'll find out at this "festival", I suppose."_

When he made it down, it was nighttime. As Sonic slowed down to see the source of the sound, he was greeted with a beautiful, yet strange, sight. A natural cove, carved out from the depths of the jungle, lighted with streetlights (a odd thing in such a mystical place), dimly lit to suit the mood. There was chairs(empty) making a half circle around a stage. The spectacle on the stage was a sensual one. 10 ladies, aged 20-25, clothed with loose fitting (emphasis on loose fitting) dresses of unfathomable color combinations, were dancing to the haunting primitive beat of Indian drums and cymbals. Their dance, what consisted of agile leaps, constant moving of the arms, and twirling was unrecognizable and like the music backing them, also primitive. But how it was mesmerizing! Sonic dropped down on one of the chairs closest to the dance. His eyes followed their steps if his very existence depended on it. Then... she came. She was 6'2, white, small breasts,dressed in a simple white gown that flowed to ground. She, in short, a beautiful girl. She appeared on the middle of the stage, literally instantaneous. The 10 separated into 2 groups, left and right of the lady. She about to sing her lament(a lament was guessed due to the change of tone from the drums/cymbals.) but noticed Sonic in the limelight. Their conversation went as followed:

Formentera Lady: May the dancers and music stop. **(Pause the music)**

Sonic: ...(in awed silence)

FL: My name is Formentera Lady, the Patron Goddess of the Formentera Islands. And what is your name?

S: S.. .

FL: What is your reason to come to this fair country? Not many people come here. I don't why though.

S: I just don't know. I awoke up there (pointed at the green hill) with no memory except my name.

FL: I'll tell you about me and this country. I'm the daughter of the sea and sky (in a sense, half-sister of Aphrodite). They sent me here for me find a suiter. And to take care of this island chain. Formentera was a war-torn country. A Dr. Eggman and a Dr. Cortex wa-

S: Those names sound familiar... sorry for interrupting. Please continue.

FL: Anyway, they conspired to turn the inhabitants into mindless beast to serve their every whim. But my father sank their HQ, into his watery abyss, never to do evil again. But the citizens ran away form the impending evil. They are coming back, little by little.

S: Interesting. Well... I have no idea where I am from. I can start over here, I guess.

FL: I'm deeply sorry I can't help you. Is there a other way to help you? I can pleasure you...

S: Oh no. Maybe. I don't know.

FL: Don't rush your decision, Sonic. Though I am sorry if I caused harm in rushing a confused hedgehog's brain. I grow everyday, my mind is still of a child. Excuse my spoken thoughts.

S: None taken. I like the way you talk. Can I camp over? I'll decide what to do tomorrow.

FL: Sure. New company is always welcomed.

S: One more thing... Can you teach me how to dance?

FL: (chuckles) Why not? It's very easy...

**(Play the music till the end.)**

**I hope you enjoyed Ch.1. Please Review. And don't die. You're the audience.**


	2. Foes and Sex Or Two Reservoir Dogs

**Enough Chit-Chat! (Claps hands) It is FANFICTION TIME!**

"Hello..Hello...Hello, my sweet hero."

"Wh-what happen?"

Sonic woke up, staggering to his feet, then fell back on the bed, dizzy and a bit hungover.

"_Wait a minute...why am I on a bed? Ohhh, my head. All I remember is me dancing with..."_

He looked over and the left side of the bed. A letter was written for him on the lampstand. It read:

_Dearest Sonic,_

_I thank you for the wonderful night you gave me. We danced, we drank, and we made love. You were so gentle, fitting my every need. I haven't had that many orgasms in a while. Anyway, to further thank you, I have some vital information for you about your current situation. To find out where who are you, seek knowledge on The Road. The Road is a long stretch of pavement that meanders the land. It goes up north. Half the road is a vast desert and the other half is a massive jungle. But no one ever completed fully The Road. This is all according to legend. Many think it's endless. They are also stories of a wise celestial God who gives the answer to the traveler's question. You seem the type to reach the unreachable. However, The Road fraught with danger. Bandits are only one of the many fiends and dangers you will face. But I trust you will survive. My 2 sisters, Alicia and Aphrodite, (Don't ask. My Dad has a active social life.) will help on the way. Good luck._

_From,_

_Formentera Lady._

_P.S I entrusted you a sword, supplies, and clothes for the journey. Your clothes got dirty :). They are in the closet. Don't try to find me. I am in my Father's lair. But I'll find you..._

Sonic thought, "Wow. I had sex without even remembering. With a Goddess! She is so nice."

He smiled at his wry thought. He forgot everything about himself but he still knows how to please a girl.

He grabbed his sword, (a nice long sword of good iron) his food and drinks, (bread, butter, 3 whole chickens, and 5 jugs of water) and his clothes (he looked like a pilgrim. Plain clothes of white, complete with a black sombrero and a walking stick).

Sonic bounded off, with his renewed hope, and headed toward The Road.

**Meanwhile**

"...Cortex, hand me the screwdriver."

"Sure."

"...Ok. It's ready!"

The two villains hopped onto their new way of going places, a hovering motorcycle. Their conversation went as goes:

Eggman: Whew! I'm ready to get some revenge on that guy who killed our stellar plan of world domination.

Cortex: That's later in the plan. We must get on The Road and get our answer from the "God" that is reportedly is at the end of The Road.

Eggman: Let's go!

Cortex: Hey, um we forgot supplies so stop by the next town so we can raid it.

Eggman: Can I go on my jeep with the rotating drill that goes approximately 15 m.p.h? So we can destroy and leave no trace?

Cortex: Sure. We are back in business! And business is going to be good! HAHAHAH!

Eggman: HAHAHAH! High five, Cortex!

Cortex: Yeah! World domination, here we come!


	3. Pilgrim's Progress Or Beauty 0 Beasts 1

_**"Seven is **_

_**A**_

_**Jolly **_

_**Good Time!**_

_**Don't Forget**_

_**Or**_

_**Remember tHis!"**_

As Sonic went on The Road, the lonely and quiet road, he thought a lot. Here are a sample of his thoughts:

_"I often wonder how I got here. Is this Destiny? Providence? Is it a "coincidence" that I can't seem to remember my former life? Ha! I said it like I'm dead! Am I? Questions are everywhere. But like I said before, why am I here? Did God set this up? I think opened a can of worms with mentioning God. I always doubted his existence. Why is there suffering? Why is there unhappiness to the most needy man and then happiness to the most ungrateful man? This brings me to the question of if there is even a God. If according to Christian beliefs, we humans are, in our nature, sinful. Then how do you explain Ghandi? A Hindu. Or the Buddha. He started a religion. Or the many rich philanthropists in the world who give freely? Or the millions of people with many great acts of kindness who are atheists? Since they don't believe in God or take Jesus Christ as their personal savior, do they deserve to go to Hell? To tell the truth, I don't know. Maybe I can tell myself otherwise yes or no. God is perfect. To make it to heaven, you have to be perfect. We are not. So our works, which are not perfect, can not make us go to heaven. How about just acting if there is a God and hey, even if I make have some mistakes, I can make it to heaven. According to the Bible, even demons know there is a God, and shudder at the thought! Well, if demons know, why can't I, a certainty better person than a demon, believe there is a God? What is keeping away people (or even me) from acknowledgement of a God? Is it accountability? That God will keep you accountable for your actions? Is it... I don't know. Being lonely makes you think. I'll stop here for the night. Geez, She wasn't kidding about the desert. Sand, sand, and more sand! Good night myself and may God (if there is one) protect me._

**Meanwhile**

"Where is the dammed town? There's got to be at least one on this Road!"

"Patience, Eggman. While you were making that immature remark, you weren't looking ahead! I see lights.

"Finally! Food, gas, and women! Hot, hopefully. Then we can destroy the town in the morning."

"Good idea! Let's go."

As they parked their vehicle next to the town's only bar,_ The Alibi, _Cortex looked upon the town. It was a standard Wild West town. It was on the left side of The Road, bordering it for about 2 miles wide. It had wooden houses, the bar, post office, harem, General Store, you know, the usual Wild West town.

_"A dump, this is. It should be a saintly act to burn this dot on the map to the ground. God, it will be our pleasure.", _thought Cortex scathingly.

As they ambled into the saloon, they were met with a sight they have never seen or even dreamed of before. A lady, tall, auburn hair, dressed in a fiery red dress and had black boots for her feet was disciplining the entire population (25) of the bar, which was all "tough" males, who were embarrassed and guilty for causing this incident. Their expression was of if this was the most stupidness thing they ever did in their sorry lives. To anger this woman was not advisable. Her tirade went like this.

"How dare you! I should blow you all do Hell for this laceration against me, the benefactor of this dreary side of The Road! You dare rape a girl, in a public place, who is my guest from the jungle! Shocking and disgusting! Cowards, under the cover of darkness! You are lucky I have to spare you for my father sake. But if wasn't for him... begone! You beasts of burden!"

They scrammed, scrambled, stampeded out the double doors. Cortex and Eggman looked at each other and thought, "_Let's get her."_

Cortex pulled out his tranquilizer gun as Eggman smoothly walked over to her.

"_Playboy, Eggman. You are the Playboy. You talk like the Playboy. You walk like the Playboy. You know why? Because you are the Playboy! "_

As he waltzed over her, she said, "This isn't a good time, boys. You should leave."

"Why would we do that? The party just started."

Cortex directed the gun at her. She raised her hands in reluctance and said in a even tone, "What do you want?"

"C'mon Cortex! Couldn't we go suave and sneaky for once! I was pumped!", whimpered Eggman.

"I was thinking power play, Eggman. Miss...?"

"Aphrodite."

"Goddess of beauty?"

"Yep. You better be scared."

"Sure."

Cortex shot at her with all of his 6 darts. As she slumped over, he said to Eggman, " Get the your machine rolling. We took down the alpha female of this town so let's paint the town red!"

They both laughed as they served themselves a ice-cold El Sol.

"Cheers to a great night!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"


	4. Brain Salad Surgery or cAt FooD AGAIN!

"His current state of his mind is in Level Five, or a coma, Miss Amy. The aneurysm stopped his right side of the brain but left side is working fine. Therefore he is brain dead. But since his left side is still working, he is a dream-state coma. But he will continue till he is off of Life-Support."

"Can't he come back..."

"It will take a miracle"


End file.
